Neanderthal Arts Festival

We're pulling out all of the stops this year. If you want to "rock" out like the rest of the Neanderthal crew, we've got something that will make you a star Neanderthal. Starting on opening night (yes, that is tonight!) we're selling a limited edition Neanderthal Arts Festival shirt. Here is why this shirt is incredibly cool:

• Constructed from only the highest quality Mammoth fur. *
• Weaved high in the mountains of Norway by still-lost crew members from The Empire Strikes Back. **
• Printed using the best bonemeal we could find made from ground fossils of questionably acquired Sabre toothed tigers. ***

This shirt will make you a full blooded Neanderthal. Stop by the merchandise table and pick up your very own. Limited printing and they are sure to sell fast. Get yours when you visit us at the Cultch.

* Mammoth fur may be cotton, but we're not sure. Fur looks like cotton, right?
** They claimed they had been on the crew from The Empire Strikes Back but they did smell bad.
*** Sabre toothed tigers bonemeal? Really? Cool!

We came across another Neanderthal hanging out at a local cafe, enjoying a latte and his newspaper. He didn't like it when we got too close, though. First, he shook the paper at us. Later (off camera) he tried to run us through with his spear (Are those things legal in Vancouver?).

We got him to calm down after by inviting him out to our arts festival, where he could see some cool boundary-pushing theatre by talented local and national artists.

In case you were wondering, he was reading the arts and entertainment section. As we all know, Neanderthals have a soft spot for performing arts.